I write this exclusively for those who go to work everyday with barely enough sleep, fatigued from the traffic and long hours of commute, contending with social pressures from people in the office who you have grown close to through the years, and whose opinions are somehow very important to you right now.
And somehow things happen that make you realize— this is what being depressed feels like. It numbs the mind and body, and causes you to hold on to certain things that mask the pain, or somehow give a certain degree of comfort. Harmless things like going to the mall every chance you get. Going out with friends (nothing wrong with this really). Shopping. Going on weekend adventures. Binge-watching. Marathon telenovelas. Getting close to people of the opposite sex. Video and digital games. Non-stop chatting or texting or unlimited calls.
Let me make it clear that there’s really NOTHING inherently WRONG with all of these things. They’re all perfectly alright. Except that in the state you’re in (sad, depressed, unfulfilled), they have virtually become a means of escape. Escape from the truth.
I’ve been there. Working for more than 20 years. And I’ve been going to church for most of those years. Yes, I became a Christian before I even had my first job. I WAS a “Christian” during all of those years! Yes, anyone can go to church or do ministry without having a real connection with God.
And let me emphasize that I’m writing this from the perspective of where I am today. Today I am free. But I’ve seen it up close. Believe me, I know.
One thing I realize that I should have been warned about, is that the Big D (Depression) doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t happen just because a problem came up, or because somebody hurt you. It happens slowly… too slowly for you to notice. It creeps into your life like a slow-moving shadow, too insignificant for you to pay any attention to. It’s something that happens over long periods of time. It’s something that you’ve allowed to happen because you’re too busy, because there are just more important, more exciting, more urgent things happening in your life. Because most of the time, you’re just too tired. Or too preoccupied. Or too cool among friends. It happens.
If you think you feel depressed now because this or that happened, you’re wrong. It started wayyyy longggg before that.
In my first few years as a professional, I used to read the Bible and talk to God everyday. But then I got too successful at work. And successful means busy.
Fatigue + lack of sleep + emotional turmoil + busyness + too many things on your mind = Guess what you’ll get
After you’ve allowed it to slowly creep into your life, it holds you by the neck, and you feel trapped. Then you begin to believe THE BIG LIE. This Big Lie will hold you and affect your decisions, your attitude, and your actions.
This Big Lie will cause you to say things like, “These Christian fools don’t know exactly what I’m going through. And they could even be judging me right now. They won’t be able to understand because they have all the comforts of freedom from not having to work like I do”.
Well, you just have to silence this thought and listen to that small voice in your heart. Somewhere in the deep recesses of your heart, that still small voice is being drowned out by the BIG LIE. You have to give that small voice a chance.
Yes, it would take a lot of tears. You’ll have to find a place all to yourself, where you can pour it all out to God. Without the security and serenity of this private, secret place, you shouldn’t trust every thought going through your head. Half of them could be lies.
And the worst thing you can do is listen to secular music. It doesn’t matter how much you think the lyrics fit everything you’re going through right now. If it’s been composed by somebody who’s depressed, and sang by somebody just as depressed, guess what kind of spirit is being transferred to you when you listen to that song. I can bet that almost all suicides and attempted suicides have at least one LSS (last song syndrome) playing in the background in their heads.
But this was how I got out of it: I soaked, I tarried, I stayed in His Presence. I regained my connection with my God, the Lover of my soul, my Bestfriend, my Father, the Meaning of my life. And you know what, I just snapped out of it. Jesus broke the chains of the Big Lie that had me bound. I became free! Just like that. In place of emptiness, there was joy.
Yes, the answer is too simple and sounds too good to be true. That is why The Big Lie seems to be more believable. But there is no other way around it, as a song goes. You will first have to be broken. Crushed.
And sometimes, you will have to fight your way into it. Fight the tyranny of the urgent, as they say, and know that being with Him, communing with Him, being loved by Him, is what you really need right now. And you have to do whatever it takes to revive that intimate connection, that heart-to-heart relationship with Him. Lay everything before Him. Repent and receive His cleansing.
Yes, you might think it feels good just to have another depressed friend around to keep you company, and you do expect people to reach out to you. But we all know that whatever comfort or thrill you’ll get from this will not last long.
I’m talking about a lasting solution. A solution that will destroy depression and keep it out of your life once for all.
Hey, talk to me.